Mandatory Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Heat vs. Pacers: Wut, It's Game 7?

If, at the start of this series, you had said that this series was going to seven games I would have called you insane.

“Are you kidding me?  We’re talking about LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh.  We’re talking about the defending NBA champions.  We’re talking about a team that once won 27 straight games.  We’re talking about the world’s greatest receding hairline and the human velociraptor.  And while the Pacers are good, and Paul George is Da Man, this thing is going five games — six, max.”

“Also, let me have some of those brownies.” 

And.  Now.  It.  Is.  Game 7.


Game 7. You’re kidding, right?

What to expect:  Well clearly, I don’t know how to predict anything in the NBA any more so…

Honestly — and I mean this completely, and with 100% objectivity — I believe that the Miami Heat are going to win tonight.  I think they’re too good to lose this series.  Even with these crippled versions of Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh that look like Chevy Impalas running on lighter fluid, the Miami Heat have LeBron James.  And Mario Chalmers.  And Ray Allen.  And Udonis Haslem.  And Chris Andersen (who’s back for tonight’s game).  And Norris Cole.  And….(you get the idea).

The Indiana Pacers have nobodies on their bench.  They have Ian “I really want to call him “Ma-hin-i-mi”” Mahinmi.  They have Sam “Who the f      is Sam Young?”  Young.  They have DJ “Coming to a crappy nightclub near you” Augustin.  And…they have….umm….yeah, that’s pretty much it.

I concede:  right now, Indiana’s starting 5 is better than Miami’s starting 5.  However, Miami’s bench is just wayyyyyy better than Indiana’s bench.  And that’s what I think will lead Miami to victory tonight.

Match up to watch: Why hello there Joel Anthony!  Didn’t even know you still played…

(Flash back: Remember when Joel Anthony was still able to do all this?)

Joel Anthony had three blocks and grabbed eight rebounds in Game 6.  He played better-than-expected post defense on Hibbert (meaning he played some defense on Hibbert, though Hibbert did still have 20+ points), and should be a viable defensive option for the Heat in Game 7.  The only downside to Joel Anthony is that he is the quintessential offensive liability — he has the post-moves of a rock.

Key Players: Dwyane Wade  and Chris Bosh.   Please show up tonight?  Just once?  And maybe also in Game 7 of the NBA Finals?  (Or here’s an idea, show up every game!  It’s not like you’re getting paid millions and millions of dollars!)

Seriously, because LeBron needs some help.  I’m not asking for 81 point games from both of you (though that would be awesome).  All I’m asking for is that the two of you combine score more than 15 points during GAME SIX OF THE FREAKIN’ EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS.  That’s it.  Gimme 30, gimme 20, hell, gimme 17 (don’t actually) tonight!  But, man, don’t give me 15.

Prediction:  Heat, 92 — Pacers, 88.

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Tags: Indiana Pacers Miami Heat

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