Texts With Greg Oden

Now that Greg Oden has officially signed with the Miami Heat and the wave of opinions and reaction has subsided, I thought now a good time as ever to share with you the texts Oden and I shared leading up to his decision.

Me: Hey

Greg: What?

Me: Woah hostile

Greg: Sorry just everyone been on my case about where im gonna play

Me: Well, where are you gonna play? I have a blog, you know.

Greg: I know. all u can eat or something. what do i have to do with that?

Me: DUDE ALL YOU CAN HEAT. Its a Miami Heat blog.

Greg: Oh like Bleacher Report?

Me: Yes but without as many slide shows. Just tell me where you gonna play so I can get the scoop.

Greg: Ok.

Me: yus

(NO RESPONSE)

Me: sooooo

(NO RESPONSE)

Me: …

(NO RESPONSE)

Me: ????

(NO RESPONSE)

Me: douche

Me: Dude

Greg: Yo

Me: What’s with that pic, man? I thought you were gonna tell me

Greg: Come on, im just chillin by the pool it means nothing

Me: /:/

Me: Yo you said friday what’s upppppp

Greg: chill

Me: you chill bro im trying to do something tonight not wait around for your decision

Greg: chill

Me: DONT TELL ME TO CHILL GAWD

Greg: lol

(I DON’T RESPOND)

Greg: o come on

(I DON’T RESPOND)

Greg: alright alright im sorry

Me: really?

Greg: yes

Me: ok :) tell me where u gonna play

Greg: i already told espn

Me: WHAT DAMMIT GREG FINE

Me: Sorry bout texting in caps at you i know you had to tell espn or else they wouldn’t broadcast any heat games

Greg: lol it’s cool

Me: dude i was being sarcastic

Greg: oh. friends?

Me: fine

Me: have you seen that picture of you and lebron photoshopped as Step Brothers

Greg: yeah. i dont get it.

Me: how do you not get it?

Greg: I mean why me and lebron?

Me: Seriously?

Greg: yeah

Me: dude don’t f with me

Greg: im not

Me: seriously?

(NO RESPONSE)

Me: DUDE YOU TWO LOOK ALMOST EXACTLY ALIKE

Greg: No we dont

Me: YES YES YOU DO

Greg: I never even seen the movie

Me: What?! More room for activities!!!

Greg: huh

Me: smh

Me: Yo i need a quote for a post can i call you?

Greg: No

Me: come on why?

Greg: Never

Me: what?

Greg: NOT EVEN IF THERES A FIRE!!!!

Me: wtf

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Tags: Greg Oden Miami Heat

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