Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Heat Prepare for Knicks, Eau de Felton

The Knicks are a tire fire, a steaming pile of basketball inefficiency, yet still competing for a spot in the NBA playoffs.

Welcome to the Eastern Conference, ladies and gentlemen!

Shockingly, New York (33-44) is just behind the Atlanta Hawks for the eight spot in the playoffs. How? Mostly as a result of going 12-4 over the last 16 games. Other than that, it’s really anyone’s guess.

The Knicks are the poster child for team-wide dysfunction, from an uptight owner to a coach in waaaaaaay over his head to players that have simply stopped caring. Yet the playoffs are still in sight.

It boggles the mind.

Meanwhile, Miami (52-23) was on a bit of a roll themselves, winning four straight before dropping a double-overtime game to the Minnesota Timberwolves (great recap and analysis can be found on this site). The Heat are still ahead of Indiana atop the Eastern Conference, following a Pacers loss on Friday to the Toronto Raptors and despite missing Dwyane Wade and Greg Oden for the hundredth time this season.

Both players will likely be out versus the Knicks.

So, how does this game shape up? Here’s the rundown:

Half the Knicks lineup was out at South Beach until 4 a.m.

Carmelo Anthony’s shoulder won’t keep him out of the game. However, the combination of body odor and whiskey exuding from his starting backcourt (Eau de Felton, now available at not-so-fine stores everywhere), might do the trick.

LeBron looks around, sees a half-empty AmericanAirlines Arena at the start of the game, but remembers that elsewhere this game is of significant national importance. He drops 35 by the end of the third quarter.

Ray Allen spent all of Saturday shooting three-pointers to make up for Friday’s missed shot at the buzzer. He goes for 20 against New York’s – and I struggle to call it this – defense.

Tim Hardaway, Jr. is back home in Miami. Look for a big game from him.

Amar’e Stoudemire sees his old nemesis, the fire extinguisher near the visitors’ locker rooms, and recoils into the fetal position. It’s still his best game in years.

The Heat, eager to get away from the wafting smell from the South Beach-soaked Knicks, cruise to victory and prepare to face Brooklyn on Tuesday.

Can the playoffs start now, please????

Watch the telecast of the game beginning at 1 P.M. on ABC from AmericanAirlines Arena in Miami. Check back with AllUCanHeat for a regular updates and for a full recap after the game.

Tags: Dwyane Wade Ray Allen

comments powered by Disqus