Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

MIAMI— Miami Heat fans brace yourselves for a war.

As I mentioned in an earlier article, the playoffs for the Miami Heat haven’t started until now. The glorified practice run against the hapless Milwaukee Bucks was an injustice — the Bucks were simply not a playoff team. The long rest after the inevitable sweep gave the Bulls a slight advantage in Game 1 over a rusty Miami team.

The Heat will be ready for Game 2 — LeBron James and company won’t let us down.

We will need a healthy Dwayne Wade to advance to the Eastern Conference finals — he’s just that valuable. Wade was able to sleepwalk through the first round series and even take a few games off. Unfortunately, the two-time NBA champion will be desperately needed against this tough Bulls squad. Wade is a superstar in his own right, and I look for him to bring the fire in Game 2 against his hometown Bulls.

We will also need to contain Little Nate as well. Lets give credit where credit is due. Nate played a heck of a game scoring a game high 27 points on 8-of-16 shooting. Little Nate even blew up twitter as well:

Nate Robinson is a special little player with big guts.

— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) May 7, 2013

Win, lose or draw, this boy Nate Robinson is something else. So much heart, desire. Mad Respect. #TheLittleEngineThatCould

— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) May 7, 2013

It’s not time to panic, it’s just one game in a very long series.  But if you are a Heat Fan Bandwagoner and would like to jump off. Please fill out the form below:

HEAT BANDWAGON TRANSFER FORM twitter.com/EricNEllington…

— Eric N. Ellington (@EricNEllington) May 7, 2013

Eric N. Ellington covers the Miami Heat for Fansided.com. You can follow him @EricNEllington

When you predicted that the Bucks were going to beat the Miami Heat in six games, my only reaction was that

You. Are. So. Right.

We’re Gonna Win In Six. – Brandon Jennings on #BucksPlayoffs

— Milwaukee Bucks (@Bucks) April 19, 2013

Let’s just start by stating the obvious: ain’t nobody got time to worry about the Miami Heat.

Why?

Because you dropped 30 points on this team the last time you guys played.  30!!!  Incredible!!!  I mean, the series is basically over, right?  Let’s be real, you are probably the only person on Planet Earth that has made a Lady Gaga Youtube video (which has gotten 283,000 hits, nbd) and dropped 30 on the Miami Heat.

That’s gotta count for something in the NBA playoffs right?

So, duh — you and the Bucks have absolutely nothing to worry about!

It’s not like you guys have lost more games than you’ve won (heck, we all know 38-44 is just a number).  Or that you’re playing a team that won 27 games straight and 66 games total (more numbers that don’t have any significance!).  Or that you’ve gone 1-3 against the Miami Heat this season.

And it’s not like the Miami Heat have the world’s best player who regularly

does this…

or this…

or even this…

Because as we all know, you are basketball’s best kept secret (and it just breaks my heart that people don’t know it yet).

So Brandon Jennings, I applaud your honesty and I can’t wait to see you drop at least 300 points a game and beat the Heat in six.

Miami Heat Fans — Brandon Jennings is coming.  So, Fear the Deer, especially the really skinny one that wears #3.  He’ll be the one chucking up a lot of shots and missing.

No, no, no — not that Ellis guy, the other dude.

Mario Chalmers has been having nightmares about BJ3 ever since.