4 trades the Miami Heat could pull off by the trade deadline

4. Celtics trade Kelly Olynk, Avery Bradley, and Jae Crowder to the Knicks; the Heat trade Hassan Whiteside to the Celtics; the Knicks trade Carmelo Anthony to Miami, and a future first round pick to the Celtics

For our final trade, how about we figure out a way to unite the famed banana boat team. Whoever is not familiar with who the banana boat team is, please allow me to enlighten you.

Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony all went on vacation together a few summers ago. As a result, we got one of the best pictures in NBA history:

Greatness personified. On a banana boat.

So, how could we make this happen? First, we start off by taking advantage of Boston’s need for a big man. Why them? Well, they’re 29-18, have a budding star in Isaiah Thomas, and are well-coached. They probably fancy themselves as a team that can knock the Cleveland Cavaliers off their perch. To do so, they may still need some help.

First off, their rebounding rate (percentage of rebounds available that a team secures) is 48 percent. That’s the fifth-worst clip in the NBA. Boston just picked up Al Horford last offseason, but of all the things he does so well, rebounding is not one of them.

Horford also isn’t much a rim protector. For his career, he averages just 1.2 blocks per game. The Celtics, thanks to their quickness and depth of guards, are still a decent defensive team. But by adding a center who can rebound and deter opponents in the paint, they could be even better.

(I think you can surmise who Miami could offer to help with those issues.)

Okay, that’s great. What does that have to do with getting one of the members of the banana boat team in Miami? Let’s think about it. Which of the four guys we mentioned — Wade, James, Anthony, and Paul — has been in the news recently?

Celtics trade Kelly Olynk, Avery Bradley, and Jae Crowder to the Knicks; the Heat trade Hassan Whiteside to the Celtics; the Knicks trade Carmelo Anthony to Miami, and a future first round pick to the Celtics

The Celtics receive their rebounder and rim protector in Whiteside, along with a future first round pick from the Knicks (who own their next eight first rounders, so it wouldn’t hurt them to lose one).

Boston can afford to give up Jae Crowder, Avery Bradley and Kelly Olynyk thanks to their depth. Rookie combo forward Jalen Brown has really started to impress recently. Not only that, but they also own the rights to swap first round picks with the Brooklyn Nets (from the asinine Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett deal). They’ll be able to pick up a stud early in the first round of the 2017 draft.

The Knicks lack depth, and would be receiving a lot of it from the Celtics. Bradley and Crowder are elite perimeter defenders, and excellent spot-up shooters. They would help space the floor around future superstar Kristaps Porzingis.

And the Heat get member number one of the banana boat team. Anthony’s nearing the end of his prime as an NBA player, but still good enough to average 23 points per game. If Miami could convince him to transition into being a stretch-4, he could certainly lengthen his prime.

He would probably be more easily convinced to do so if it meant he could play on a team with his friends. The Heat have a ton of cap space, and Wade is going through a serious rough patch in Chicago. A return to Miami may not be totally out of the question. Add Chris Paul, who’s an unrestricted free agent this summer, and boom, there you have it. The banana boat team in Miami!

(Even in this totally satirical scenario, I refuse to even kid about LeBron returning to South Beach. So three of the four members of the banana boat will have to do.)

Next: Another trade for Carmelo Anthony

There you have it. Three reasonable trade suggestions, and one totally farcical one. It will be interesting to see how Riley treats the upcoming trade deadline. I wouldn’t be shocked if he had a surprise in store for all of us.