May 30, 2013; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Heat power forward Chris Andersen (11) is help back by referee Marc Davis and Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra as Indiana Pacers small forward Sam Young (4) walks by in the second quarter of game five of the Eastern Conference finals of the 2013 NBA Playoffs against the Indiana Pacers at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Chris Andersen Suspended For Game 6

As I covered last night, Chris Andersen absolutely destroyed Tyler Hansbrough in Game 5.  And as I stated then, and as I’ll state now, I was definitely surprised that the Birdman was not ejected from the game (not that I am complaining).

However, today, as expected, the league announced that Chris Andersen has been suspended from Game 6.  This is how surprised I am (and how surprised anybody that actually watched the game or saw a clip of the play should be):

All. Of. My. Surprise.

It’s like pissing off your landlord and knowing that on next month’s rent there are going to be about $150 worth of extra surcharges that you’ve never even heard of before — you just know the hammer is coming.  (Rule #1 in life: Don’t piss off your significant other.  Rule #2 in life: Don’t piss of your landlord.  Rule #3 in life: Make damn sure your significant other isn’t also your landlord.)

I mean, you knew Birdman was getting suspended David Stern went on NBC Sports Radio today and said

“I do think he should have been ejected. I looked at the replays and, it seems to me, there was no immediate push or shove of him, he just hauled off and knocked down Tyler Hansbrough. I don’t know what he was doing. And then he pushed him. And then he did not go gracefully to the bench.”


Heck, you knew the Birdman was getting suspended last night, after the replays showed him shoving Tyler Hansbrough to the floor, and then shoving him again as they exchanged pleasantries “eff you”s.

(Also, can you even imagine Spoelstra’s conversation with Chris Andersen?

“So Chris — err — Birdman — err — Chris….ummm — yeah, I know it’s a huge surprise after you pushed that Hansbrough kid to the ground, but for some reason the Commissioner wants to suspend you.  I know, I know — I have no idea where he’s coming from with this.  But yeah, that’s a wrap.  See you in Game 7.”

End scene.)

So what does this all mean for Game 6?

It means that a key motor/rebounding/grit-and-grind/energy guy for the Miami Heat will not be playing.  It means that the guy who is currently 18-for-18 in this series (and he even hit a jump shot last night!!!) will not be playing.  It means that Udonis Haslem (who stepped up big last night) will need to step it up even more and Chris Bosh will actually need to try and, you know, rebound the ball for once (I’ve never seen a 6’11” man become so incapable of rebounding the ball during a single series).

Basically, it means that the Miami Heat have a lower chance of winning Game 6.

But, hell, it was kind’ve worth it.

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