Mar. 3, 2013; New York, NY, USA; New York Knicks small forward Carmelo Anthony (7) and Miami Heat small forward LeBron James (6) wait for a rebound during the first half at Madison Square Garden. Miami won 99-93. Mandatory Credit: Debby Wong-USA TODAY Sports

LeBron And Carmelo: A Hollywood Dream

This is the part where my face melts off, like in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”.

USA Today has a report that the Los Angeles Lakers are tapping the brakes on their search for a coach, in hopes that they can possibly lure the New York Knicks’ Carmelo Anthony and/or *sigh* Miami Heat star LeBron James.

The Lakers remind me of “Johnny Fontane” from “The Godfather”, whose once proud career has floundered and now needs outside help to become relevant. I’m not sure if this makes the Clippers “Jack Woltz”, but let’s not get too deep into “Godfather” comparisons.

A highlight of the article is the possible pairing of LeBron and Carmelo at some point in time. I can imagine the hairs on the back of the necks of Heat fans starts to crawl when something like this pops up. Sadly, this is a topic that can fuel media/social media for a couple of days, and article clicks are important. So allow me to do the same and hit you with a “hot take”.

As interesting as that union could be, the feasibility of it for the 2014-2015 season is minimal. LeBron is 3 wins away from his third consecutive championship, so why would he ruin a good thing to run off to Los Angles to play with Carmelo, just to be sidekicks to Kobe Bryant? Oh, if you think Kobe would happily stand aside and let them have the spotlight, then you clearly haven’t been paying attention.

Even the wild dream of Carmelo coming to Miami to join LeBron, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh is a bit more plausible, but still unlikely to happen. For one, all four players would have to opt-out of their current deals for next season (over $20 million for each of the Heat’s Big-Three; $23 million for Carmelo) and take major pay-cuts to make it work – something like $14-15 million a year. I’m sure LeBron would LOVE that idea. Also, Wade muddies the water, as he might not be willing to turn down $43 million over the next 2 years.

That leaves us with 2015-16, as the Knicks get out from the albatross contracts of Amar’e Stoudemire, Tyson Chandler, and Andrea Bargnani. This works if Phil Jackson can convince Carmelo to sit in a dumpster fire at Madison Square Garden for another season, and for LeBron to opt-in for one more season in Miami. That would then require LeBron to want to leave after a possible fifth consecutive trip to the Finals (really, who in the East would stop the Heat next year?) to go help Carmelo win in New York, under would-be second year coach Derek Fisher. I’ll give this scenario a little more of a chance than either the Lakers or Heat ones, but you’re better off seeing a unicorn running down the streets of Manhattan during a Knicks championship parade.

So let’s stop this. Heat fans can go back to enjoying the NBA Finals, just like Carmelo Anthony is doing.

Tags: Carmelo Anthony Commentary Lebron James Los Angeles Lakers Miami Heat Rumors

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