The rest of America says Miami has no true fans.
They say we have nothing more than a bunch of bandwagon jumpers.
Well now is the time to show everyone just how passionate and Heat crazed this city is.
You like to call us the Evil Empire. Well we will show just how evil and devious we can be.
We Want You Miami.
Project Mayhem must be set into motion.
What does that consist of you ask?
I can’t tell you for sure because the first rule of Project Mayhem, is that you don’t talk about Project Mayhem. But in short any and everything.
If you know what hotel the Mavericks are staying in, there’s tons of stuff you can do. Let people know the Mavs are staying there, post it on blogs, then Heat fans we need to invade that hotel. If you’re sick or have the flu, go to the hotel and rub every door handle on the Mavs floor. If you work in the hotel kitchen or a local restaurant carry some laxatives and estrogen in your pockets just in case they dine there. Rent out every room on the floors above and under them, then proceed to blast music and fog horns all night long.Also occupy the elevators at all times by pressing like every floors button so the players have to take the stairs constantly.
We’re going at them from all angles. Messing with their diet, sleep, and rest. Physical and mental fatigue will then kick in.
That’s what it takes. You have to represent. You have done a poor job of protecting our stars as they dive into the well-to-do folk in the front row, but us true fans can really give the Heat an advantage. If you have their team bus in front of you drive 20 miles per hour and box it in. Let’s see how good they do when they know just how hostile this city can be to someone that tries to come in here and take what’s ours.
David Hasselhoff face cards be damned. We’re taking this to a whole different level. We want dirt on these guys. If one of them has a gerbil in his butt, we need to know. And if they don’t shove one in there and take a picture.
Don’t break the law South Florida, just bend the rules as much as you can to prove that we are diehard fans.
After all if we have the best team, then we need to pick up our slack and do our part to be the best too.
Pass this post along so that it reaches someone who can further Project Mayhem’s cause.
If you’re a God fearing Christian, just ask yourself what would Jesus do?
The answer will come to you….
Wait for it…………
“We Must Protect This House.”