Screw Face
We’ve arrived at the juiciest part of our programming.
Just like the coaches last year didn’t vote for Goran Dragic to be an All-Star – it took a third level injury for him to get the honors – Miami was snubbed once again, overlooked in favor of conventional names and the Association’s surrender to fallacy.
The first atrocity comes in the breakout season voting.
Jamal Murray, a third-year guard with the Denver Nuggets, tops the list with 20 percent of the votes. Ok, he’s made strides as a shooter and general scorer while playing at least 81 games in his first two years. That’s fair.
But Murray is followed by names like Jayson Tatum, Kyle Kuzma, Lauri Markannen and DeJounte Murray, all of whom out placed Josh Richardson in the voting process.
Ben Simmons, the same Simmons who led the “Process” Philadelphia 76ers to the second round of the playoffs in his rookie year, earned more votes than Richardson. To make matters worse, GMs favored Kawhi Leonard, an NBA Champion and Defensive Player of the Year over Richardson.
A breakout season should be reserved for players who haven’t seen nationally recognized success, like Richardson.
He is the quintessential underdog.
A four-year college athlete who, after being selected in the second-round, has proved to have the highest ceiling among his similarly aged teammates.
Instead, GMs recognized those who have already won the hearts of millions, be that through deep playoff runs (Tatum) or being the most productive rookie on the team in the second largest sports market (Kuzma).
Adding insult to injury, the toughest player and most athletic category were heavy snubs too.
James Johnson, a black belt who has quite seriously been called “Bloodsport” for the better part of his career, didn’t crack the top-five in toughness.
You mean a progenitor of dunks that fold defenders in more places than an origami crane, isn’t the toughest player in the NBA?
Likewise, Derrick Jones Jr. didn’t top the athleticism rankings, even though he just injured himself after jumping some 14 feet for an offensive rebound and falling on his shoulder.
Conventional wisdom might signal out Russell Westbrook and his rippling deltoids as the NBA’s most athletic, but his chart-topping appearance continues to connote Miami’s constant plight.
Miami isn’t some sports gambler’s sleeper pick for writing untold stories of cleaning up at Atlantic City.
The team is the underdog of all underdogs, capable of stringing together a series of victories, while still being washed away amidst the city’s neon glow.
But that’s fine. The best success stories are written without any forewarning.