Lastly, you get to build a Black Friday dream team, to get the most bang for your buck: who’s it going to be and why?
Tachauer: Man, do I love a good bargain. I’m going with Riley first and foremost, because he’s obviously the boss of all bosses, and is sure to find you a real diamond in the rough. James Johnson also seems like he knows a thing or two about finding unique products, for a good value to boot. Rodney McGruder is The Scavenger for a reason, so I think I’d be doing a disservice to myself, to leave him out of my crew. And finally I’ll take Kelly Olynyk; if he can make guys keep falling for the Kelly Keeper, I imagine he’d be good at bartering.
Rahming: If your first pick isn’t Riley, you’re kidding yourself. This guy will make sure you get the most bang for your buck, while exposing you to some different or more expensive tastes. Next up, I have to pick Gabrielle Union and Wade. This power couple has the style game on lock. I trust Wade with my personal style, while I trust Union with both my style and my girlfriend’s (because what’s a star-studded shopping spree if you’re only going to shop for yourself?) Lastly, I’m going to roll with Whiteside. He’s been one of my favorite players on the team in recent history and I can tell he’s into gadgets and some other crazy house and/or personal items, so I’d need his expertise when it comes to just getting cool stuff that’s not clothing or sneaker related.
Morganfield: Steph Curry, Russell Westbrook, Giannis Antetokounmpo and LeBron James. This team, plus myself (who won’t do much at 5-foot-2, by the way) is destined for greatness. Every component is covered, the metrics are there and we’d just overall be unstoppable on both ends of the so-called court.
Campbell: First is Riley; this is a no brainer. Even if it seems like he enjoys spending a lot of money, I think I could convince him to tone it down a bit. If he doesn’t, he can always be the driver and stay in the car, while me and the rest of my posse are in the mall. Then comes head coach Erik Spoelstra: I think I can lean on him to give me the best advice, as to what places in the mall to go to first, as well as let me know who should go where to make the purchases. Next is Mourning: look at the muscles on this man still. I could just walk by the long line, go straight to the cash register, and people would look at him in fear. I also choose Tony Fiorentio: I can utilize Tony to distract fellow shoppers with his stories about the NBA. Or I could just summon owner Micky Arison and just buy the whole mall, case closed.
Happy Thanksgiving, Heat Nation.